We got one shot peeps …hit your mile stones with pride :)


The realisation that I’ve  hit my 40’s with 22 years of marriage under my belt (that’s why I was expanding around my waist line) …. was quite overwhelmingly shocking…..

Where on earth was my life going and where had those years gone ….

Bloody hell !!!

We had been so busy being parents with the kids schooling, copious amounts of appointments ,play dates and birthday parties and on top of that we were both running our own businesses and running a house whilst juggling foreign students at various times of each year that passed…

What about the ‘us’…. who were we before we got tangled up in the fast paced rat run of life…..

Well we got off our arses sorted ourselves out we got living eventually or should I say I learnt to present in every moment and learnt to feel grateful for every moment good or bad ….….

All I can say is  thank God I did as 2017 was that ‘ shit year’ and a  profoundly unnerving life changing year  as you have probably already recognised on past blogs….…

So once I’d ditched the anxiety and panic crap I’d allowed to snuff out my spirit,  I was off and I actually kind of dragged Chris along bless him …..

We were off  to a load of exciting, interesting, hobby forming taster sessions because  if I hadn’t we would both still be sat on our sofa (which isn’t a bad thing if that’s what you like) but I was unhappy my disorder had ruled my last 10 years … and it was about time I got living ….

2 years ago We Spent a morning down at our beautiful sandbanks peninsula with a chap who was selling boards…..

Something had popped up on my hubby’s Fb feed on a bank holiday Monday as we were packing up at a fairly local campsite and it was telling him about a free paddle board session going on that morning….

It was a ‘try them out and see what you think’ event …

I was up and off in no time … My legs were a bit wobbly, but my god I loved it JJ .

The water was like a mill pond….

Oh my …..

The waters were inviting, the board well behaved and the cool breeze was enough to keep you refreshed ….

The sun rays bounced on the ripples as I cut through the waters and the Shoals of fish darted giddily about the dancing seaweed beneath me ….

It was ridiculously idyllic ….

The boards were priced well but still made us stop and think…. we really wanted to buy them but the cost was holding us back ….and in true Chris style he was holding back until he had researched and investigated all the options open to us ….

It’s what he does ….

We were torn between a smaller hard board that would fit in our camper or blow ups because they pack down small enough to get 2 in the camper and everything else we take when off on a jolly …..

We had decided that the bigger the surface area the better it would be for both of us …..well that’s my explanation J

Chris’s explanation went something like this

“It’s to do with the amount of surface area to water displacement kirsten, that’s how you keep your balance “…….

All I was interested in was making sure We had 2 paddle boards … end of  !!

Woman asks and woman gets …right  🙂 !!!!

So the Starboard Astro whooper zen was the chosen board …

The next thing was trying to find a company locally that had them as their renting boards….

First stop was one of the paddle board companies down on the water’s edge at sandbanks …

They had blow-up boards but not whoppers …

I waded out to a guy who was expecting me …He had his hiring forms and his mobile phone hanging around his neck in a waterproof bag…

What a place to run your business hey !!…  His office was his paddle board and it sat in one of the most beautiful and expensive stretches of land in this area…

Lucky man ….

I had a tenner wedged in between my boobs as I was in my bikini top and a pair of water shorts …. God I hadn’t carried money like that since my nightclubbing days, many moons ago lol …..

And I had a pair of water shoes firmly on my feet….

Thank god for water shoes as I do tend to freak at what might lurk in the waters ….

If my memory serves me right I have stood on a Weaver fish …and if it’s not my memory to own then I remember it happening to someone I was with …

The life guard is showing me a pickled Weaver fish ….Their prized possession in the first aid beach hut …..

Gross !!!

My memory can sometimes be a bit vague as I don’t have my mum to tell me all my childhood treasured moments….

Some memories would have been hugely embarrassing and some tender, loving and beautiful …

but I only have these memories when and if something triggers something in my head but   sadly they can be a bit muddled…

I have a half finished jigsaw in my head but the image I have is one of love laughter and happy times with my Mum and Dad …..

Note to one’s self …..pay attention when the Elders talk about their memories because once they leave us you have no way of harnessing the energies that stir when you  hear stories from your ancestors those stories of their past and your past ….

Anyway back to the paddle boards as I’m going off track in true kirsten style and I’m trying to tell a story….J

The boards I tried were a disaster ….Not only was I fighting the tide ,but I was also fighting a little breeze that made the water fairly choppy ….

Oh F*** !!! my balance was atrocious …..

I was really good last week ……

“Nope I can’t do this …I don’t want a board Chris” ….

I was having a paddy !!!

The following week, taken by the thoughts that maybe as a married couple this was a hobby we could do together Chris was taking me out to Highcliffe …

Yep you guessed it to try more boards lol….

Our eldest was working and was living out her own life and seldom needed us anymore and Tom was also on his way to growing confidence ….

We were realising that in 20 odd years of marriage we had lost each other in the mundane muddle of everyday stuff that goes on ….

We needed to almost fall in love all over again…

So many years had passed and we had grown up a lot since our engagement back when we were only 16 years old …. We still loved each other very much but we had forgotten how to be with each other without being parents …

The van we had bought was helping us get out and enjoy our weekends ….A gorgeous VW T4 we named Jimminy …

My hubby believes you should always let your conscience be your guide and he’s so damn right….

If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it …

However ….

On a Tuesday night we were ballroom dancing with a lady who had jumped out of the 20’s but was wholeheartedly enthusiastic as she ordered her husband around the church hall floor demonstrating our next set of moves ….

He hated dancing and it wasn’t feeling right….eventually I listened to his moans …

So we ditched it !!!

We were getting  bored and  we were pretty crap at it to be honest …..but it was the taking part that counted …we’ve all heard that saying at some point in our lives hey !!

The guys in Highcliffe were fantastic and so we loaded 2 whoopers into the van and off we went to the waters …. needless to say we paid a hefty deposit because as long as we were back by six we were going off wherever we wanted on our own…

How exciting !!!

We had a super paddle out to Hurst castle and back again beaching a couple of times to chat about our experiences and to rest my shaky legs, but it was a successful trip and a lovely fairly romantic time weaving in and out the moored boats watching the wildlife in amongst the reeds …

We are the proud owners of 2 paddle boards not long after that wonderful day out on those whoppers and 2016 was the year to build our confidence we were out and about up rivers and on the sandbanks so many times it was the place we went to exercise and to spend time together and a time to chill ……

I’ve gone back to my paddle board this year, well attempting to …

You see last year we had a falling out me and my board …

Pretty understandable really ……Why did I think I could hop straight back on it  ??…

I was semi paralysed in March 2017 of course it would take time and guts and perseverance !!

FFS behave kirsten ….you couldn’t possibly do that …

(that was my rather battered ego putting me down by the way )

I couldn’t stand on it and so instead of frolicking in the surf and paddling out to see those free-spirited fishes’ . I spent the one day sat on it  and any attempts to kneel or stand had me face planting the water…..trying to deal with dizziness and the misinterpretation of what my eyes saw and my brain processed was a bloody pain in the arse ….literally ….

OMG it was so bloody frustrating ….I couldn’t even blame a lunch time cider as I hadn’t drunk for months ……

So regardless as to how hard the neuro physio had worked with me standing on balance boards and doing everything she could to get my brain and balance recognising each other it wasn’t successfully happening …..

Deflated ???

Yep I was….

Determined ???

Yep I was

Am I able yet ???

Nope  I am not ….

but who cares …

It’s the taking part that counts right ??

Being out in the water feeds my soul and makes me smile

Life is too short to let it pass you by ……

Wear your ‘mile stones’ with pride and make each year count….

warts and all …..

love kirsten xx

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3 thoughts on “We got one shot peeps …hit your mile stones with pride :)

  1. You know jow much i love this xxx


  2. How beautiful, sounds like you are getting your balance everywhere. Much love. Xx


  3. Alison forster Jun 11, 2018 — 7:32 pm

    You are such an inspiration to me always have been since I was a little girl. One would say a guardian Angel. Thank you for your knowledge, spirit and keeping us in the know! X x


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