I believe in magic …..



I love a good old fashioned magician.

Maybe it is because I was lucky enough to have one at  a number of my birthday parties back in the early 80”s …

I remember desperately waiting to get my hands on the magic wand (that’s what made the birthday girl so special right)?

It was my responsibility to turn an empty tin into a tin brimming to the top with hard boiled sweets. These sweets were wrapped in papers that were every colour of the rainbow.

 I reckon in this day and age they probably wouldn’t be given out because of  the ridiculous “health a safety” rules we have to abide by….

how mad hey ..just in case you have an allergic reaction to the colouring !!

Pants here I go again off on that tangent.

Let’s get back to the story…

How I giggled every time my wand went floppy ….But looks are deceiving… was I uncomfortable? …was I struggling with people laughing at me? …

or were they laughing with me? …

Have you ever experienced that for yourself …you’re left wondering how people really feel about you ? ….

 My mum knew, (as all mums do )that really, I was struggling.

She had picked up that I was busy Screwing my beautiful new full length party dress up anxiously with my free hand, I was desperately holding it together and trying not cry because everyone was laughing at me…

I look up, my eyes searching for some reassurance……

ahhhh there she is!! …There’s my Mum …. she’s smiling at me, encouraging me to persevere ….

 I was embarrassed, upset, excited and confused all at the same time.

 What a mix of emotions….

I was  actually having one of life’s crazy life lessons amidst my dearest friends… A skill that I would carry through into my adult life, but I was blissfully unaware what life lesson I was learning …

It certainly wasn’t how to make floppy things stiff!! ….but my aunt reckons as she gets older  she can  make stiff things floppy lol …waiting for us all…. lol theres the tangent again…..

You have no idea as you are growing up how you learn morals, principles, how to love unconditionally,  give and take and the laws of our land and other lands on this vast earth…

But somehow through the guidance of influences in our lives and the experiences that present we do learn so very much …. and slowly it shapes us (for good or for bad )…     

So with 3 desperate and rather violent taps on the lid of the empty tin and a chorus of my  friends screaming “rainbows and ribbons” at the top of their voices, a couple of the boys looking so red in the face I thought they may well have exploded with excitement, I conquered that bloody wand and I produced sweets for everyone …

How special did I feel!

 The tin was full and all my friends were excitably clapping, they had enormous grins on their faces, we were all  totally bowled over ….we were overwhelmed that we managed to do magic …

My mum was smiling at me with a look, a look that told me she was really proud of me …

Looking back on this experience I can clearly see how people become the adults they are today.

 My Mum encouraged and nurtured both me and my sister. We were praised when we did well and our spirits also lifted when we didn’t do so well by remembering that we tried our best and that that was always  good enough…

 She raised us with an all-round grounded attitude …..

It is clear that based on a person’s upbringing and whether they have been nurtured in a positive way or sadly raised in a negative way that it will undoubtedly show in the adults that they become ….

I feel those that have been raised negatively or have experienced trauma will always struggle with the demons bestowed on them sadly through other people’s actions ….

Looking back, thinking and studying the parties that I remember I have learnt that my birthday parties were all about friendship ,community and love ….friends of my mum coming together to offer help so we all enjoyed ourselves…..

 It was about reaching out to all my friends….

It was about inclusion within a firm tight-knit friendship community that my mum had built through raising her family….

 We were surrounded by people who loved my Mum and loved us too and this would be very important in the year that we lost Mum to cancer…..

 This behavior my Mum demonstrated to us meant I never left a friend out.

My mum would never have let me behave that way ….

At the time I learnt about perseverance and I learnt about pulling together to make magic happen …. but it went deeper than that and as always it’s not until you become an adult that you realise the lessons that your parents have taught you ….

People say my Mum would be proud of us …and I believe with all my heart that she definitely would be……

love kirsten



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2 thoughts on “I believe in magic …..

  1. And i believe she is. X


  2. You do have magic and you never leave a friend out. Your mum taught you some valuable and beautiful lessons, she would be so proud. ❤️


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