New year means a serious chat with my soul !!!

9781743082201-3
The brave little owl …google image 

I’ve been sat up here on this brick wall looking down on this little person called kirsten … I’m sat on the top row of bricks and its pretty high now …

I’ve seen her add layer upon layer over the years ….

This brick box she’s managed to build all the way around herself was supposed to protect her ….or so she thought….

I’ve been chatting to her for a few months now but she wasn’t listening to me ….well half heartedly but not intently …

 Kirsten finally looked up after I had been poking from above for her attention and she found me swinging my legs patiently waiting to offer the rope ladder down to help her out of what i see as a prison she had been quite happy sitting in …

 She finally acknowledged that I existed ….

  well let me introduce myself ….

I’m her soul ..

 I’ve been with her for years lol …all her life in fact lol …

 I’ve been rooting for her …egging her on with each blow to stand back up again …..to fight the fight ….battle on ….

I’ve been wanting her to stand up and face the lessons of life with her eyes open, but she’s been to afraid ….

 She seemed to hear me occasionally, but I felt she was only able to stumble around in the darkness most of the time ….

 The poor kid seemed really down trodden and slightly victimised this last time….

 Being in hospital took its toll on her especially as it all happened at such a sensitive time of the year for her and her family …

and then she was let down again …family comments, people’s behaviour …

The thought maybe now people might care step up, and show their willingness nagged in her mind … The people she so desperately wanted to be close to didn’t seem to understand, didn’t care about the severity of what was going on …..

  Lol are you still with me on this one !!! 

Does this sound daft?…

To some of you it might sound totally insane, but to me it’s not at all barking mad ….

So my body says to my soul …..

” Hey there soul…. so what are we gonna do about this situation …. I’m a bit fed up of sitting inside this cold stone box ..The walls are too high now and I can’t get out, I thought I was safe, but I realise I’m actually trapped ……my arse has gone a bit numb sitting on this cold floor and I’m a tad bored now…..can you help me please? ….”

My soul replied….”Well my lovely … This situation you find yourself in…. yeh its pants …pretty shit to be honest …. it is what it is …. and we can’t change it …but to be honest whilst you live in fear we won’t be getting out of this stone walled box at all……..

Take a look at what you’ve managed to come through in your life …think about what you’ve learnt from your life on earth so far …

The armour you choose to wear  the walls you have built around yourself are in fact the very things that imprison you …….

what has recently happened to you may well be the silver lining to those grey clouds …The universe has surrounded you with many people who love you and are willing to support you unconditionally ….

…You have a family who are proud of you and you’ve helped so many people in so many ways without sometimes even recognising that you have ….(well thats what loved ones say to me !! ) 

…..Remember that book you used to read to your kids Kirsten …

You loved to read it to them …

The brave little owl .…( extract from my kids favourite book ) 

After the little owl had spent way too much time hidden in his own feathers safely tucked away in the old oak tree totally afraid of the dark night sky and what it may hold the time eventually came where he had to take flight ….it was time to do what owls did …to swoop into the night with his eyes wide open …

Little owl was terrified ….he closed his eyes…I can’t do that …I can’t take flight …what if I fall? …..

but wait….. what was that?…

He was curious ….He suddenly heard the night bird singing. The music was beautiful….. he heard the waterfall splashing…. the sound was exciting ….he wanted to hear more and he forgot to be afraid …he was edging along the branch reaching out to hear better ….

His eyes were still tightly shut, but he had reached the end of the branch and whooooosh he tumbled down in a blur of feathers …

Be brave little owl be brave …

Little owl spread his wings the warm breeze scooped him up …he was flying …his eyes were wide open with amazement …..little owl looked at the world with his eyes wide open ….it wasn’t so scary after all ….It was beautiful ….

Remember the tone of your voice Kirsten…. Remember Naomi and Tom touching the pages  ??…. their eyes were wide open as they took in the meaning of your spoken words….Your emphasis was on the words that were to encourage those positive thoughts within your children’s mind .. 

I think you forgot to listen to those words yourself “….

…………………

I thank my soul for chatting to me …because it speaks the truth …it makes sense and it doesn’t judge ..

So am I still afraid ?…

yep I am …

but I have so got this !!!!…. .

…and will my story help others? ….I guess so …

…..actually I hope so ….

I may be able to open someone else eyes and help them through this rather emotional jumbled up mind-blowing adventure ….

This adventure is what we call life ….and we are all on it we don’t get out of this alive !!! 

love and light  kirsten xxx

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2 thoughts on “New year means a serious chat with my soul !!!

  1. Lifetime Chicago Jan 13, 2019 — 2:43 pm

    This is story is excellent….your style of writing and being genuine about your feelings is a wonderful match

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thankyou so much for such very kind words xxx

      Like

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