Losing my Mum…..Jealous of the angels …

As the tears roll down my face …The words hurting my already hurting heart …

The words spoken in an interview from a small group of bereaved children sit heavy on my heart, but with a twist of admiration, compassion and empathy ….

The words from a beautiful song

Jealous of the Angels ….

Sung by the little ones ….

They gather and sing to draw strength from their similar experiences …I’ve heard it sung by Katherine Jenkins on Utube as well …she certainly sounds like an angel …her voice a gift …

I didn’t know today would be our last
Or that I’d have to say goodbye to you so fast
I’m so numb, I can’t feel anymore
Praying you’d just walk back through that door
And tell me that I was only dreaming
You’re not really gone as long as I believe
There will be another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me,
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question,
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight
You always made my troubles feel so small
And you were always there to catch me when I’d fall
In a world where heroes come and go
Well, God just took the only one I know
So, I’ll hold you as close as I can
Longing for the day, when I see your face again
But until then
God must need another angel
Around the throne tonight
Your love lives on inside of me
And I will hold on tight
It’s not my place to question
Only God knows why
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight
Sing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
I’m just jealous of the angels
Around the throne tonight

The lost years for my mum is what I morn the most … those years snatched away in the grips of death …..

Our landscape changed so quickly… my sister and I abandoned over night never to feel our mothers embrace again …

Everything was changing in front of our eyes …we were kids who had no control ,yet had to take control …..

I was the only kid in the junior school that this had happened too …How was any other child supposed to understand what losing a mum felt like ??….

Still lonely at the age of 44 ….My mum missing from my life for too many years ….

I feel very alone at times ….and a twinge of jealousy as I see people with a relationship I can only dream about …..

Those time when you want to chat about stuff ….share an idea… ask advise ….have a hug ….share some silence….

so am i jealous of the angels?? …

well of course I am ….she’s up there with them and not here with us ….

The gift of time together is priceless….

the gift of life is priceless ……

we never know when our time to part will come …..

Tell those you love that you love them very much …but mean it unconditionally….

leave your wonderful mark on their heart and a head and soul full of wonderful memories to draw upon when their days seem bleak …….because those bleak lonely days come to us all …we just don’t know when …..

love and light kirsten xxxx

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2 thoughts on “Losing my Mum…..Jealous of the angels …

  1. I have just started a blog, influenced by my mothers passing 2 years ago, and everything that comes with it! This is a really lovely blog. I miss my mum every single day. It doesn’t seem to have got any easier just yet.
    Keep writing 🙂 Abs x

    Like

    1. bless you ….keep her close to your heart and speak of her often ….stay strong xxxx

      Like

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