To walk away or try harder…..

DC50-full
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Well we’ve all been there …

I have done both in many scenarios ….

I’ve stayed because I should and I’ve stayed because I wanted too ….

and I’ve gone because I’m hurt and I’ve gone because it was too tough …

It takes a real knock for me to go for good though ….

I’ve had to be mentally tough whilst emotionally wrecked….( Im not talking about emotions you won’t understand …I’m sure we have all been there )

my heart has been hurting and my head very angry ….

Its a very weird scenario to be in because I am generally searching for calm and kindness in my life …

I’ve been sucked in to situations at times with no chance of escaping….  its like whirling around gathering up  the shit, just like my Dyson does !!!

I don’t like that when it happens ….

I can’t make out which way is up and my emotions suffer …..

Blurred lines  cruel words and goal posts constantly moving leaves me baffled …

Im not just talking about people but also life lessons !!!

My head space throughout my life  has been as sound as a pound or completely f***** up  depends on the scenarios I find myself in …..

hmmmmm … I wonder  if the glitter in my brain is the damage of holding onto past life pains ….

I think the answer is a very big yes….

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Louise Hay in her book You can Heal your life includes a list ….

I jumped straight to it .thumbing through the colourful pages …(this book has been a life line to me )and in it a list of ailments or conditions from her book heal your body and the probable causes …

I was intrigued with the word dis-ease and how Louise uses it ….

So….(not attention seeking here just logging and listing so you can see if you’ve read previous posts why this is important )

Tonsillitus from about 11years old up to having them taken out !!!

probable cause – fear ..repressed emotions stifled creativity …( well who would have guessed that !!!

Yeast infections /thrush

probable cause- denying your own needs not supporting yourself

Quinsy aged 15 the tonsils were so bad they stuck together …

probable cause-  a strong belief that you can’t speak up for yourself and ask for your needs …hmmmmm

Goiter aged 30

probable cause -Hatred for being inflicted upon, a victim feeling thwarted in life and unfulfilled

haemorrhoids  mid 30’s ish

probable cause -fear of deadlines, anger of the past, afraid to let go, feeling burdened ….

Multiple Sclerosis …..

probable cause -mental hardness hard-heartedness iron will inflexibility and fear ….

throughout my life I have made choices  ….

right now my biggest choice is to live ….

There have been 2 point in my life where i didn’t want to live…

I wanted to walk away  but the world had different plans for me …I  wasn’t meant  to experience more than a lot of adults experience in about their 50’s before I celebrated my sweet 16th  just to give up   …

so instead I got on living and tried harder than I had ever tried before …I had my eyes set on happiness and love  and with that attitude life got better …

I found friends and built solid friendships, I found the love of my life and my best friend chris ….I became a parent (now that was challenging and rewarding all at the same time ) I removed negative thoughts about the “I cants “and just tried anyway …..

Life is a gift ……life is a journey with twists and turns ,mountains and valleys happy times and times of great sadness …but that is life and we shouldn’t ever walk away …we should just try harder …

Tell you what …lets grab that hoover ,empty the dirt box and start again because we all have the ability to do that  !!!!

love and light kirsten xx

 

 

 

 

 

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1 thought on “To walk away or try harder…..

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