Behind the light that you see is a girl who struggles everyday
My light won’t dull though because I feed the very essence of myself with food for the soul.
Keeping a fire burning takes time …strategic placing of the kindle to start it… a warm flue always helps… good air flow clearing out the remittance of the previous fire is a must and then the regular topping up of the wood once its going strong so it doesn’t go out …
The old street lights lit by the man and his cart took commitment at the end of each day and the beginning of the new …
The lighthouse i talk about often in my posts were manned in solitude and although the modern times we live in have changed both the Street light and the lighthouse the efforts that go unnoticed as we carry about our daily existence still takes commitment time and human energy to facilitate the running of something we take for granted ..
Its the same with our souls …
Feed the light and it will shine brighter neglect that process and your light will dull or even go out ..
So behind my light what do you see?
I am an open book …what you see is what you get …the usually clichés i know but the words have been said because somebody anybody everybody can relate to them …
When the light dims starved of energy those are my bad days ….im sure you’ve all been there too …
its that mad dash to blow hard into the dwindling embers placing that oversized piece of wood that didn’t get used first time round onto the fireplace in the hopes it will light with little effort …I mean ….get up off my arse find my crocs and head out into the cold to get fire wood …why bother ??
hmmm far too much effort now i’m cosy and warm … but if I let it go out the ambience, the effort, the space I have created for myself will change ….
god too much effort ….cant be bothered ….then I regret …
So behind the light ….
All the above the ‘can’t be bothered’ the ‘too much effort’ and the ‘regret’ sit waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce….
Behind the light is a little girl lost in the momentum of the fast paced life of the 21st century ..
Behind the light is my story book full of moments that fuelled and fanned the flames but also moments that almost put the fire out ….not only me pissing on my own fire but others too….
Behind the light is a girl who has learnt to stand strong, be proud, speak out for her truth, shine brighter than she ever hoped or believed she could….
Behind the light is there room for regret to reside in my soul ?….sometimes regret is guilt …did we do enough?
Did we shout loud enough?
Did we love unconditionally and did the other person feel that love?
Did we fight with strength or run and hide ?
Did we fill our place on this earth with purpose …did we make a difference ?
I was given a pink wooden heart 2 years ago and the words that help me shine my light are these
“DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE”
Behind my light is love ….what fuels my light is love …love for others, love for life,and love for myself ..
Just like the phone that needs charging or that toy that needs new batteries …just like the car that needs fuel and the fire that needs wood ..
If you believe your light shines bright what would you say is behind your light that fuels it ?…is it courage, strength, transparency, love, honesty, trust in life’s process or something else ….
If you believe your light to be weak is it loneliness, guilt, regre,t fear, a misunderstanding of why you are here, what you believe is deserving just because you are you or something else ….
When I was at guides one of the camp fire songs I loved singing was ‘Im gonna let it shine’ …the relevance of these words now I’m all grown up are moving beyond words….
The song came with actions as many campfire songs did ….the actions we did hiding our finger under our cupped hands to create a Bush and shouting “ohhh no” and miraculously uncovering our finger with a look of glee on our faces was simple, yet powerful …it was just a singsong round a campfire…. or was it? …
I’m 45 now and i’m ready to share the words of this song with you all because it really made a difference in my world.
This little light of mine im gonna let it shine
Don’t you blow my little light out im gonna let it shine
Hide it under a Bush “oh no ” im gonna let it shine …let it shine, let it shine, let it shine ..
Love and light