When the dark clouds hide the sun ….

sat at the cross roads …

and no desire to run in any direction ….

I can’t see which way is up and the days pass me by with no rhythm that I recognise… all that was has been stripped away …it feels like Ive lost control ….

It is never easy to keep your balance on a tightrope when the wind is howling around you, suspended over a canyon where the drop would undoubtably bring about a catastrophe if you were to fall ….

so hang on tight is my answer to the predicament every human is facing at the moment , stay focused and concentrate on the horizon looking straight ahead and most importantly please don’t let go because it will be one hell of a mess to try and clean up !!

Its not very often that something happens that unites the whole world in such a gruelling way …

The 2 world wars are examples of such a thing …

The fight against climate change is another …

and now one of the biggest things i know I will have seen in my life time COVID !!

I read this week that some of us are totally disconnected to traditional structure and struggle to connect to anything from days gone by ….

If you gave up your phone ,tv binge boxset watching, online shopping… if you didn’t have a hoover ,a handheld mixer ,a washing machine ,a chopsaw, lawnmower or even your car… could you connect to traditional structure or are you so distracted with the 21st century life style you have no inheritant connection ?

I asked myself this question…….what do I do ?

well I write .. a gift of words, a message to myself and others is helpful…

I am learning to paint …a delight and a wonderful time waster in a positive way…

I have found a whole world of crafting as pinterest unites and fuels that artistic fire with many like minded people sharing their ideas with a vast array of interesting ideas …I find this to be like a dropping down a rabbit hole as i go from one exciting explosion of colour to up cycled plastic projects, sewing ideas and so on ……a real rabbit warren once caught up in the search !!!

Cooking although I’m crap and uninspired most of the time is something I dabble in…

I did wonder if i was to save money how eating on world war 2 ration tokens might inspire me to be more creative ….but thats another rabbit warren to explore and with the net giving stupid amounts of modern adverts for weight loss exercise plans and all that shit you don’t really need i get sidetracked and lose my way ….

Don’t you just hate those adverts !!! well I do …

Maybe those pop up adverts that saturate the internet and distract me are trying to teach me not to be compulsive, getting me to question the “do I need it “or “is there another way “?

There is never a magic wand to fix weight gain, there is no magic diet or that pair of suck in pants to shape your body from a size 20 to a 12….. for me the weight needs to sit somewhere either giving me a muffin top as the extra tight pants or legging roll down or push my boobs up so high I gain a chin try to catch my soup lol !!!

There is no veg peeler or pillow that really solves your problems and there is no cleaning product that does what the advert suggests because whether we like it or not anything we do takes effort and we have to be bothered …

so where and how does my title of this article link with my words?


These adverts are my dark clouds …they hide my sunshine making me feel fat, unmotivated, lazy and useless…

So in amongst the sunshine I try hard to keep in my life (hypothetically speaking) those dark clouds just keep popping up …..and you know what… when I’m weak and I click on that ‘lose stupid amounts of stones in 4 weeks’ the algorithm picks up on my clicks and so the nudging adverts just keep coming….

so yes I if i want the clouds to disappear for longer periods of time I probably need to listen to my inner voice a little more tentatively stand firm in the changing winds and smile through the rain ….I don’t have to let my black clouds rule my skies and although I may find myself wanting some of what the 21st century has to offer one thing I have learnt in lockdown is that I am more than capable if I can be bothered !!

so heres your question from me …..

What would your inner voice be telling you if you really listened

how are you going to clear those dark clouds in these difficult times …..?

And what traditional structure is pulling back in time

Love and light

Kirsten xxx

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4 thoughts on “When the dark clouds hide the sun ….

  1. Insightful, as always. X


  2. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    I have had a relationship with someone who had MS and can totally connect to how you feel about this world in today’s environment. About your questions, I think my inner voice is still busy in telling me to find love out there. Wish I could see world any differently without someone being in my heart. Without that precious being by my side, I think I feel incomplete.


    1. The way forward is to love yourself first and the rest will follow when you least expect it ….take care and keep smiling

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for such a lovely advice. Had I not started loving myself, I’d have never set my feet upon finding someone else to join this awesome life of mine. My smile is contagious btw since my childhood. Just started following your blog and commenting.


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