Butterflies and dragonflies…

It’s been a powerful time here in Mexico connecting with my body and soul and laying to rest past trauma by writing it out in a colourful journal …

its been insightful daunting fun and emotional as I faced one of the biggest challenges I’ve ever had to face with my husband by my side and prayers ,hugs and love sent in abundance from friends and family back home …

This fight against a disease I did not see coming would emptrap me for sure …let’s be realistic here although I do aire on the airy fairy side !!

My body was trapping me in a cocoon that would fail to produce that colourful butterfly that could spread its its colourful wings bringing joy to all who saw it ……I was trying to cocoon myself in a state of wellbeing and self love but something had gone wrong …

all that hard work to get cocooned so I could feed my soul turned into a nightmare ..I was ducking and diving the traumas and dramas life had thrown at me and I had survived them… I was on a path to inner peace through some really tuff work on myself spiritually and then whoops it all went wrong …my body let me down …

Multiple sclerosis was set to finish me off …

In one fail swoop ms hit me …I thought the cocoon I had wrapped myself in was my protection as I took to mending my broken soul …

Do the situation had me thinking …am I going to let ms stop me?

not a chance in hell …

that was not going to be me sat in a wheelchair when I knew there was a chance I could receive medical treatment to put ms into remission …….

I mean if you have a cancer diagnosis you don’t sit around waiting to see what might happen…you get treated …

ms is no different…

however when you die ,you die from the complications ms bestows on you and the progression to get to that stage is gruelling for the sufferer and cruel to witness by those around them …..

So I’ve put my best foot forward (my left as my right has a drag drop foot) and committed to an abliteration of my entire immune system using the mexican HSCT programme ….

I was ready to fight this monster head on …..

A butterfly and a dragonfly have appeared to me this last few weeks and we are 6 flights high ….that’s somd amazingly high flying ….and insaw this as a sign ….

A butterfly and a dragonfly in many cultures including Christianity look tovespecislly the butterfly with deep reverence …they seem to represent some powerful forces resurrection.. change ..renewal ..hope ..endurance and courage …..

The butterfly and dragonfly have filled me with joy each time I have seen them and have made me extremely mindful of my personal growth and progress in life ….

So here’s a biology lesson ..

the butterfly births from a tiny egg and starts life as a tiny caterpillar….it retreats into a chrysalis and on going inwards undergoes an amazing transformation…

The cycle of a dragonfly from nymph to larva to dragonfly living most of its life underwater in the darkness finds itself heading to the light where as the light hits its wings and body we are treated to a display of beautiful colours …

To me both these creatures are a powerful symbol of the representation of life …

The butterfly is so symbolic to me as I’ve hidden away in my crysalalis for the past 4 years but had forgotten some key elements to transformation….

I had to break free !!!

I had been battered one stop after another I had nade mistakes or said the wrong things and had beaten myself up over them so I chose to make better choices thinking positively and releasing fear …

Just as both the dragonfly and butterfly had to go through changes to come out stronger I too had to endure the same process…

In fact we all do …..

So however bad life gets I know through my experiences that they teach you something far more meaningful ….transformation can be tough through all the ups and downs you need to look within and gain that strength and wisdom understanding what life is trying to teach you ….

you’ll be forever changed and far wiser for that inward work you could chose to do on yourself ….

So when you see a butterfly or a dragonfly think of the journey they have made to bring about such colour and beauty into our world….I’m gonna be more like them…..are you ??

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